Entry #2

I always try to be strong, I always see to it that everyone see me smile, that I'm fine, that I am just having a bad day sometimes. They never know that things just keep on piling up in my head, they cloud my mind continuously until there is no space left anymore for me to think on how to be happy again. This world made me believe that life would be easy at some point, but no, it is a series of winning or losing.


In this point in my life, I just want to rest. I want to find the old me that I lost while trying to please everyone around me. The "me" that I lost while I was trying my best to reach for my goals and forgot that I need to live and not just exist. I just need to find my old self who sees that good in everyday, who sees that there is something good in everyone's heart, who never holds grudges, who never cares about the opinion of others, who always have that genuine smile and who knows that God will always be on her side so she does not need to worry. I just want to be me again.


I hope that someone can just hug me right now and tap my shoulder and say everythings gonna be alright, that I did a good job, that yes I made mistakes but I also made good decisions, that he/she is proud of who I am today. I just want to feel like I am on the right path and I am not ruining my future, that I AM DOING A GOOD JOB.

Entry #1

I never questioned my worth before. So why now?

I am Princess, daughter of God, a King. Why am I doubting myself, what I can do, my worth, everything that I am. Why? Why do I feel like I am not enough for anyone? It's like I have not achieved something yet. Why? Bakit unti unting lumiliit ang tingin ko sa sarili ko?

Bakit kailangan ko umabot sa point na to?

An Open Letter for Parents

Writing this open letter not to shame anyone, not to let others make fun of it but because i need to take it out somewhere.

Dear Parents.
   Thank You for bringing us out in this world. Thank you, knowing that we were conceive out of love. Thank you for giving us every thing we need even if it means you have to sacrifice a lot.

   We understand sometimes you have a lot goin' on, in your work, in your life, in your marriage, in our family. Sorry that we can't do anything about it. Sorry that we still add to your burdens. Sorry that a lot of times we never pay attention when you have problems, it's like we don't care, but we do and we believe that doing nothing is best than doing something and it may turn out wrong. We try to avoid involving ourselves with things we know we can't control or we can't put solutions to. Sorry.

  This open letter is written to give awareness to every parents out there. We your children are not blind, we are not deaf and definitely we understand everything that there is.

  I was born in a family, where God is the center. While growing up, I never once saw my parents quarrel, until today.

Questioning myself, Am i too sensitive? And came up with an answer, No I'm not. I'm just not used to seeing them scream at each other, throw things and etc. I understand every person have their own battles in life, it may cause a person to be moody all the time. Can't help thinking, is this family still the family i grew up with?

  To all the parents out there I want you to know that it hurts us, to see our parents scream at each other. It is not a good example. I know there are no perfect parents out there but i hope you realize that there are children like me, who can't help but cry when i hear my parents shout everyday, who can't help feeling like my heart is being squeeze out. There are children out there like me, who look up to you, who consider you their role models. I hope you realize that shouting at each other will not resolve anything, yes it helps you release the anger but it adds up to your problems.

  One person dies every 40 seconds due to suicide. One of the major cause of it is problem in the family. We your children, we're not sensitive, but yes we are emotionally unstable, anyone who doesn't feel the love in their home, will not think twice to end his/her life. I hope you dear parents can realized how important you are to us. How important your relationship with each other to us. We know you're not perfect, we're not asking for you to be. But I hope you learn to solve things without shouting, screaming and throwing things.


Thank you.
And know that we love you.
 

 




 

#Blog143

I read this story about a girl who was writing blogs, not just blogs but it was about what happens to her in her everyday life, things she can't share to those people around her that's why she just wrote them on her blog. It was entitled #blog143, written in wattpad, it was cute story pero nakarelate ako, nainspire tuloy ako sumulat ulit dito sa blog ko..

Isa pa narealize ko na, kaya pala favorite ko yung kantang tadhana, hahahahaha now I know.

Isa pang dahilan bakit ako nakarelate is the fact that they were best of friends. And she was harboring feelings for her bff. It was a cliche story pero i realize na ganun talaga, sa pagkakaibigan ng babae at lalaki minsan di mo maiiwasan may maiinlove.

Anyway, haba na ng break ko, dami kong time shocks. Aral na ulit ako. Natuwa lang talaga ko dun sa story. Paraaaangggggg gusto ko rin tuloy isulat yung akin dito.. Charrrr... Osiya laterssss.

#SunFlowerLove #1

You Are Priceless

Luke 12:6–7

6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Sometimes we think of less of ourselves, others take us for granted, and sometimes others makes us feel worthless, but God sees us differently.We are Precious in God's eyes, we are more worth than any Gold and we are more precious than any Gem this world could offer. Siguro marami kang nagawang masama, kasalanan but that doesn't mean you are loved by God less. Tandaan sabi nga dun sa verse sa taas yung sparrow nga di kinakalimutan ni Lord, IKAW PA KAYA. Kung dahil lang sa guilt kaya ka di nakakalapit kay Lord, forget it. GOD is merciful enough to forgive you. Importante ka, special ka, mahalaga ka sa harap ng Diyos, kaya walang rason para isipin mo na wala kang kwenta. hayan mo yung ibang tao na kung tingin nila sayo ay wala lang, lagi mong itanim sa isip mo na may Isang Diyos na Pinahahalagahan ka, na di ka kinakalimutan, na namatay para mailigtas ka.



When problems flood our minds and unexpected situations fill our daily lives we often think that " di ko na kaya, na wala na kong halaga, na masyado ng masakit, na wala naman kwenta yung buhay natin", this statements are the very reason why 800,000 people every year decide to cut their lives. I hope that this verse will help them see na MAHALAGA SILA sa DIYOS na hindi solution ang pagpapakamatay. Siguro nga hindi ko alam ang pakiramdam ng mga tao na sobrang daming problem. Pero minsan sana naiisip rin nila na they are blessed, kasi di ibibigay ni Lord yung pagsubok kung di mo kaya and after nung problem sigurado a blessing is waiting for you. Sana minsan maisip nila na kahit marami silang problema may mga bagay pa rin na dapat ipagpasalamat sa Diyos na kahit may problema sila GOD is always there and GOD is always in CONTROL.



Minsan nakapanuod ako ng video dito sa Facebook, shared by my friend and the video says:


" A box of a pizza is nothing, because it only cost cents but You see when we buy a pizza through delivery we will always look for the box not because of the box itself but because of the pizza inside"

Tama, Parang tayo lang yung box nung pizza, oo nga at napakaliit lang ng halaga mo pero hindi yun ang tinitignan ng tao kundi yung tatak na meron ka. Ikaw yung box ng pizza at si Lord yung tatak mo ibigsabihin hindi lang cents ang halaga mo dahil na sa iyo si Lord. YOU ARE PRICELESS.

Metamorphosis.

 Metamorphosis is defined as the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.

I think everyone of us undergoes metamorphosis each year, we become more mature than our previous self, we learn from our experiences, we may change, yes but we are still us. Like a butterfly, it may undergo changes but still it is called a butterfly in the end, it may be a caterpillar but then eventually it will become butterfly, it is the same in us humans, we may change but we will still be called the same, we are still the same person, you may look different, have a different name, age, skin color, and a lot more, but deep inside you are still you and you can never change that.  In tgagalog “ikaw ay ikaw, magbago ka man ng pangalan, itsura or whatever, ikaw pa rin yan, di ka mapapalitan at hindi ka magiging ibang tao.” so i hope we will undergo changes, changes for the better this coming 2015. :)

So today is exactly the last day of the year. Ang bilis, I started writing my blog September 2013, see, 2 years na nga.  I never thought na matatagalan ko ang pagbablog, maybe because I always sign up on social networks but still end up not using them, pero having a blog, I think it is the relaxing way of using the internet. Being able to express what you feel without restraints is the biggest help of this blog for me and I am really happy to have it. 

This year 2014 became a blessed year for me, more awesome and much better year compared for the past years, but of course meron pa ring mga bad happenings which can’t be avoided, pero okay lang yun, kasi yun yung mga bagay na nakakapagbigay ng thrill sa buhay natin, yung mga pangyayaring akala mo susuko ka na, akala mo di mo na kaya, bibigay ka na, minsan nga nagpapakamatay ka pa, pero look until now buhay ka pa, much stronger because of the trials that you’ve faced, strong enough to battle the coming year. 

The year 2014 would not be awesome if weren’t for the person up there above guiding us, so Lord maraming maraming Thank You po, and to all the people who have been with me through out the year, friends, family, relatives Thank You and I Love You.

Before the year ends, I want to leave a remarkable lesson I have learned, 

“In order to be happy, count what you have not what you want to have”

Gusto kong marealize natin na, true happiness comes from simple things. Siguro sasabihin ng iba na hindi nagging mabuti yung year sa kanila, kasi they did not receive the things they want, but then let me tell you, maybe God has a purpose kung bakit di yun dumating, maybe God has something better in store for you. Oo nga at minsan you are not well off like others, you can’t have everything you want, pero can’t you be happy? Tignan mo in the positive side, you have clothes, food, shelter, or you have your family. Minsan kasi, tinitignan natin lagi yung wala tayo kaya akala natin sobrang sama sa atin ng Diyos, dahil doon, di natin nakikita yung mga bagay na binibigay niya na mas kailangan natin, na mas makakabuti sa atin. 

Siguro sa mga makakabasa ditto, sasabihin nila kasi mayaman siya, ai siguro kasi kaya niyang bilhin lahat. No, I am not rich in terms of money but I am rich in terms of love and I know how it feels to have nothing, to want something you can’t have, yung feeling na all of your friends have it and you don’t, I know how it feels but that did not make me love my parents less, make my faith in the Lord less because I understand how hard it is for my parents to send me to school, to provide for our needs and yun yung blessings ko yung nakakapagaral ako. 

In the generation today, people think na to be happy kailangan meron ka lahat, “ipod, ipad, cellphone and everything” but that is not right, can you not be happy sa kung anong meron ka, e ano ngayon kung ang cellphone nila iphone, atleast may cellphone ka nagagamit mo. Remember others maybe mayaman pero minsan kahit mayaman sila, hindi sila masaya, yes they can buy everything but not happiness. 

So before this year ends, let us thank God for all the things we have, for all the lessons we have learned and for all the simple joys he provided us with. 

Let the coming year be a Prosperous one for all of us, an Awesome, extravagant, unexplainable, great, magnificent year for all. I hope that this coming year everyone will realize how important the little things are, how important the things we already have. Yes, you do not have everything but you can always work hard to have them one by one and maybe in God’s right time you will have everything you’ve been praying for.

So, I will end here, I hope you have learned something. 

Let us all have A mind-blowing, Heart-bursting New Year.  God Bless and Take Care.

Dear Future Me..

 Well, this essay was supposed to be an entry to an online contest, but sadly i wasn't able to finish it on time, so i did not passed it at all. 

 The first time I read about the topic on the said contest, i am really not convinced if i must join or not, because hello, how will i write to my future self? what will i say? how will i answer in return? But then again i still tried to construct an essay which i would really love to submit, but i guess that just how life goes, you must keep up :)

 So here is my unfinished piece.

Live the Unlived Live

“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life” an author named Natalie Babbitt once said in her book. Life is a series of chances and a rollercoaster of happiness and regrets. It is a multiple choice type of examination, in which we are given innumerable choices. Life was never an easy ride to take, there were endless battles to be won, temptations to be avoided and a lot of surprises to look forward to. We can never predict what will happen now, tomorrow or even what lies ahead of us, but we can always live what is in front of us now. If we are given the chance to watch our life fifty years from now, are we going to cry because of happiness, are we going to celebrate our success, can we proudly say “I have no regrets”, or we are just going to cry over the chances we have missed, the challenges we have failed and those times where we gave up. When we are old enough to even work, and all we could do is to sit back and reminisce, can we proudly say that we have lived life to its fullest and enjoyed everything that life has laid at our feet or we will realized that we have never lived at all. 

To my 100 year old self, “Are you still alive and enjoying the life you’ve worked hard for?” is the first question I would like to ask today on your 100th birthday. Many years have pass, I know you are now well acquainted on how life works. Have you successfully finished your chosen career? Did you already use those notebooks you’ve been keeping for years? Can you say that you are finally not afraid to take risk on anything? Did you become an optimist while dealing with life’s circumstances? I would also love to hear if you end up with someone whom you’ve been praying for ever since. I have a lot of questions I would like you to answer, but this letter won’t be enough, so I hope you could at least answer a few on your reply. I know life was never easy for you but I hope you never gave up on chasing your dreams and you could finally answer if you really have live the life you wanted to. I want you to tell me and the world that you have live life with no regrets to haunt you down. Lastly, can you proudly say that you have really live?

Today, I am celebrating my 100 years of existence in this wonderfully created world. Life did not become a piece of cake for me, but I am indeed grateful to be blessed with another year. I am overflowing with joy and as a promise to myself; I would answer the letter above, written 80 years ago by me. 

That's what I have finished.

I really can't finished it, i don't know why, but maybe because i don't know if i am still alive then, but i would really be blessed if i am, but aside from that, it is maybe because the future i am picturing in my head is not yet clear to be revealed, to be detailed and to be written.

But if i were to answer i would love to say, that yes I am successful, yes I am living the life i have wanted, I want to answer that I have accomplished my goals, that I do not have regrets, that I indeed live.

Thinking about it, "without regrets" is really impossible i think, because whatever situation we may be in, i know that each one of us will always have that one thing that we are afraid to do, we are afraid to say, and that's where our regrets come from, maybe others will say, "Oh, I am a risk taker", but hey, i'll say, you may be a risk taker but i know you still got that one thing you are afraid to do or say.

An important lesson I learned in this contest is that :

"Life won't wait, Life will go on and on, so we must make the most out of it and Live it"

-- till next time.
Bless YOUUUUUU <3