Entry#9 Unspoken Words

Hi.
I don' t even know where to start, what to say. Should I start on how we met? But that would take us forever.

So let us start on what we are. We are the best of friends,  we've known each other since forever. We were together almost all our lives. You are like a twin brother that I never had, because I don't need to speak for you to know that something is wrong, you can read me like an open book. You are my dear diary, you know my secrets, my problems, my success and setbacks. You've  witnessed all the important occassions in my life and likewise I also have with yours. You know what, we can even answer a slam book for each other because we are like that, we know each other too well.

Everyone expects us to end up with each other, our families, our circle of friends.  But we don't hold the future, we can never dictate what will happen. It is still in the hands of God. They see us like some cliché love story, but I want you to know that, I don't want you to pursue me just because you are pressured from the people around us. I don't want you to pursue me just because you are used to having me around. I don't want you to pursue me just because you're infatuated with me. I hope that if ever you will pursue me it is at your own will, at your own decision and with the right reasons.

We've talked about this, I know your priorities know that I understand them. I want you to know that I fully support that you want to enjoy your singleness. Yes, there are times that i feel frustrations, I cry and overthink our situations but that's normal right? I realize that it is important to enjoy our singleness because it is temporary and the next level will be forever. Regardless, know that I want you to enjoy life to the fullest, go out, make new friends, get to know other people and experience more adventures. Because i believe that love works that way, it does not limit the person, it helps the person to expand his/her horizons. When the time comes, I hope you could proudly say that you've enjoyed, no regrets and you're ready for a new season in your life.

I always pray to God that if we are meant to be we will be. and if not I know He has something better in store for us. If the times comes, and it is His will for us to be together, i hope then that we can fully commit because we are ready and complete. But if we are not meant to be together know that I always pray for your happiness. Yes, it will hurt but it is okay, we will be okay. I know God will give the love we deserve.

For now, let us grow individually, mature spiritually and emotionally, get deeper in God. Let us love God and ourselves more. Let us enjoy our singleness and live life to the fullest, make more memories and enjoy the ups and downs of life. Let us continue being friends, get to know each other more while waiting patiently on what the future holds for us

Entry#8 Kaya ko palang mag-isa

"No man is an island" sabi nga ng isang sikat na kasabihan. Masyado yata tayong naniwala dito at talagang ating pinanindigan.

Siguro bahagi talaga ng ating pagiging tao na masanay na parating may kasama. Mga kaibigan natin na parati nating kasama sa galaan, pamilya natin na kasabay natin sa hapagkainan at ang ating mga minamahal na kasama natin kahit saan. Ngunit nakalimutan yata natin na tayo ay nilikha na isang buong tao, na hindi natin kailangan ng iba upang tayo ay makumpleto.

Hindi naman masamang masanay tayo na may kasama ngunit minsan pati kasiyahan natin ay dinepende na natin sa iba.

Ang kasiyahan mo ay nakadepende hindi kung sa kung sino, ito ay nakadepende lamang sa iyo. Kahit iwanan ka niya, hindi totoo na hindi mo kayang mabuhay ng wala siya, hindi totoo na hindi ka na sasaya. Oo nga at may karapatan kang masaktan, maging malungkot ngunit nasa iyo pa rin ang desisyon kung paano ka magiging masaya ulit. Ikaw ay nilikha na nga ng kumpleto di mo siya kailangan upang ikaw ay mabuo. Siya ay ibinigay lang sayo para maging kasama, hindi para siya ang maging buhay mo at gagawin mo siyang mundo.

Naranasan ko rin kung paano idepende ang buhay ko sa iba, yung kapag hindi mo siya nakakausap o nakikita ay malungkot ka, parang hindi buo ang araw mo, yung kung ano-ano na ang pumapasok sa isipan mo, hindi ka na masaya kasi wala siya. Nasanay akong gawin siyang dahilan ng kasiyahan ko na pag nawala siya wala na rin yung saya ko. Ngunit dumating na siguro ako sa dulo, napagod na ako at doon ko naisip na hindi ko kailangan ng ibang tao para sumaya.

Kaya ikaw na kagaya ko, nawa maisip mo rin na ikaw, at ikaw lang ay sapat na para sumaya. Ang kasiyahan ay hindi mo mahahanap, ito ay desisyon.  Iniwanan ka man niya, di ka man niya itext at ichat, di mo man siya makita, okay lang na malungkot ka, umiyak ka ngunit pagkatapos ay piliin mong maging masaya.

Matapang ka, Maganda ka, Gwapo ka, karapatan mong maging masaya at nawa masabi mo rin na "Kaya ko pa lang mag-isa"..

Entry #7 Buwan

Ngayong araw ay sobrang liwanag ng buwan
Iniilawan nito ang madilim na kalangitan
Nakakabighani ang kagandahan nitong taglay
Ang sarap na dito ay tumunghay

Ikaw, ikaw na sa aki'y inilaan.
Ikaw rin ba ay nakatanaw?
Ikaw rin ba ay maraming katanungan?
Ngunit kagaya ko'y nagtitiwala pa rin sa kanya na may lalang.

Kagaya ng buwan at mga tala,
Darating din ang araw na sabay tayong magbibigay liwanag at hiwaga
Darating din ang araw na tayo'y pagtatagpuin ng may katha
Sa araw na siguradong tayo na ay handa

Kaya ngayon kung saan ka man,
Sabay nawa nating natitignan ang buwan
At sabay na nagdarasal na tayo'y magtagpo,
Magtagpo pag ikaw at ako ay ganap ng handa at kumpleto.

Entry#6 Mga Kataga

Minsan naiisip ko, saan nga ba to patungo?

May patutunguhan ba ito? O sadyang pinipilit ko lang ang mga ideya sa utak ko.

Minsan napapatanong ako sa hangin, saan nga ba tayo nito dadalhin?

Ikaw ba at ako ay para sa isa't isa? O nililinlang lang tayo ng tadhana?

O baka naman sadyang may plano Siya, baka ikaw at ako ay itinadhana para magkakilala, hindi para maging isa kundi para manatiling mga alaala para sa isa't isa,

Nagkakilala para may gampanan, nagkakilala upang may matutunan.

Entry #5

It's been a while..

I really don't how to start this. Ni hindi ko alam anong dapat kong sabihin. Pinakamasakit palang marinig at maranasan na rejection ay mula sa magulang. When they start doubting you, when they start to have tampo to you. When even if you say sorry di na nila maappreciate kasi wala na natapos na. When you feel like suddenly you don't exist anymore. You suddenly feel like you died. You've lost the very reason you wake up everyday, the very reason you work hard.  You've lost the reason you're living for.


I lost myself, I lost the people who defines who I am. I don't know where to start again. What to do. Who to talk to.  I just want to sleep, to take a rest to just have a break.