Being an Independent Woman has its pros and cons. Pag independent ka, you can do things even if di ka tulungan ng iba, you find ways to solve your own problems, you tend to offer help, instead of asking for help. Being a capable woman, makes you reluctant of any help offered to you, you try to do it on your own, and often rejects help.
Masarap naman maging independent, because you don't need anyone to do things, you can do it on your own, and you can decide on your own without waiting for someone. Pero nakakalungkot din pala, kasi dahil alam ng iba na kaya mo naman, they don't check on you, people worry less about you, kasi alam naman nila na kaya mo.
Based on my experience, nakakalungkot din pala na walang nagaalala if nakauwi ka na ba, or if kaya mo bang umuwi, kasi alam naman nila na kaya mo. Minsan ang sarap din sa feeling na magpanggap na di mo kaya just to feel the concern from others. Nakakalungkot na no one checks if kaya mo bang gawin ang isang bagay, because they always assume na kaya mo naman. Ang sarap din siguro sa pakiramdam ng may nagaalala, na someone checks on you too. Someone is worried about you. Ang sarap din siguro sa pakiramdam ang maalagaan. Nakakapagod din naman alagaan yung sarili, its tiring to fight your own battles. I hope someday, someone will come and fights with me and for me, yung pwede ako maging mahina because someone will be there.
Simple things, but triggers my anxiety. It reminds me na at the end of the day, i still have to care for myself, because no one will.
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