Entry#26 (PublishedLate)

I'm tired, but my thoughts won't let me sleep. 

Today has been a long day, 

But i still want to share my thoughts. 😇😇

Ang pagmamahal, di laging masaya, kadalasan umiintindi ka. Di parating ok, minsan may di mapagkakasunduan. What i realized is, darating yung time na di lang ikaw muna yung priority, and that is ok. You should understand na life doesn't revolve with just the two of you. May mga ibang responsibilities kayo na kailangan gawin. Not all the time, the attention you're looking for is there. Not all the time, sweetness will be there. Because a lot of times, mapapagod kayo, sa buhay, sa isa't isa.  Maraming pagkakataon na gugustuhin niyo sumuko, kasi sa pagod. Sa responsibilities na hinhingi ng commitment na minsan mahirap imeet, pero ang pagsuko ay decision. Decision mo kung isusuko mo ba yung tao ng dahil lang sa napagod ka na. Hanggang saan mo ba kakayaning magtiis? Kapag wala na ba yung saya aalis ka na? Kapag wala na ba yung spark, aayaw ka na? 

Your reaction to the situation is solely dependent on you. You should always remember na kung dahilan mo lang kasi hindi ka masaya, sayo lang yun. Kasi ang happiness mo magdedepende lang sayo. That is why sobrang importante na before entering a relationship you are molded by God, punong puno ka ng pagmamahal galing sa Diyos, you know how to love unconditionally. How to love when the tides get rough, how to love without asking for anything in return. Ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao hindi nababase sa kung ano ang naibibigay niya sayo, sa attention, sa sweetness, sa love. You love a person, dahil mahal mo siya at bunga siya ng panalangin mo. You love the person regardless of the situation. 

So when you are faced in situations in your relationship that it feels like you're about to give up, always remember why you prayed to God for that person. Remember, that person is the answer to your crying prayers to God. 😇😇

Entry #25 175Days 🌻

We've been together for, 

15,181,200 seconds

253,020 minutes 

4217 hours

175 days 

25 weeks 

now, 

How time flies so fast indeed. A lot of things happened. The journey was really a roller coaster ride, sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down. 

For the past months, I realized that there are a lot of things that I don't know about him, it's true that it takes a lifetime to get to know someone, but one thing's for sure inspite and despite of the circumstances I will still love that person the same. 

Let me share a sneak peak of my roller coaster ride, 

Tagalugin natin para mas ramdam mo, 

May mga araw na sobrang saya ko, yung kasama mo lang yung tao, walang ginagwa just watching movies together masasabi kong it's really one of the best moments. 

May mga araw na sobrang sweet namin sa isa't isa, naku mahihiya yung mga langgam. Just saying sweet words sa isa't isa showing sweet gestures, expressing love through our actions. 

Pero narealize ko na hindi laging masaya, sweet, ang pagmamahal di lang puro mahal mo lang, masaya lang, ang pagmamahal dapat maraming pag-iintindi, pang unawa. 

May mga araw pala na kailangan niyo ng personal space. Di sa lahat ng oras at araw ay kailangan magkausap kayo, magkasama kayo. 

May mga araw na kailangan mong umintindi, kasi lahat tayo may pinagdadaanan, kailangan alam mo kung kailan ka niya kailangan, at kung kailan niya kailangan na magisa. Di mo naman siya iiwan e, nandiyan ka pa rin naman. 

May mga araw na meron kayong di pagkakaintindihan, tampuhan, mga away, mga sitwasyon na maaaring sumira o mas magpatagtag sa pagsasama niyo, kung alin nga ba sa dalawa ang mangyayari ay nakadepende sa inyong dalawa. 

For the past 5 months, 

 Nakilala ko rin yung sarili ko, nalaman ko na i can be immature, irrational at times, I can say what I feel when I can't contain it. I can also keep everything to myself when I don't want to burden him. I realized iyakin pala talaga ko, especially when my emotions get's over my head. I also realize na I can feel insecurities from time to time, like being  undeserving of that person, or I can care less. There will always be two sides of me, and I guess that's just really a part of who I am. 

A vlogger said that we are just committed to the person we love, but we don't own them, and that hit me hard. It made me realize that it's true, the person you're with has goals, responsibilities and priorities of his own. You should still have your personal space, because you need to grow individually as well, and as you grow individually you both mature and that helps in the relationship.  Sabi nga nung vlogger, in the end, maghihintayan naman kayo sa finish line, di mo naman iiwanan ee, minsan may mauuna, may mahuhuli sa inyo, you should support each other. 

Communication is important. Not that hourly messages, but we should communicate regarding our problems, solutions, what needs to be improve in the relationship, where you're coming from, the differences and all essential talks. 

Another thing, it's true that when God brings you sa situation, He will be with you. Kapag pinagpray mo, it does not mean naman na walang struggles but rest assured you'll overcome them together. And when that person loves God more, and pinagpray ka niya, simple problems will not break you, they will make your relationship stronger. ❤