I always try to be strong, I always see to it that everyone see me smile, that I'm fine, that I am just having a bad day sometimes. They never know that things just keep on piling up in my head, they cloud my mind continuously until there is no space left anymore for me to think on how to be happy again. This world made me believe that life would be easy at some point, but no, it is a series of winning or losing.
In this point in my life, I just want to rest. I want to find the old me that I lost while trying to please everyone around me. The "me" that I lost while I was trying my best to reach for my goals and forgot that I need to live and not just exist. I just need to find my old self who sees that good in everyday, who sees that there is something good in everyone's heart, who never holds grudges, who never cares about the opinion of others, who always have that genuine smile and who knows that God will always be on her side so she does not need to worry. I just want to be me again.
I hope that someone can just hug me right now and tap my shoulder and say everythings gonna be alright, that I did a good job, that yes I made mistakes but I also made good decisions, that he/she is proud of who I am today. I just want to feel like I am on the right path and I am not ruining my future, that I AM DOING A GOOD JOB.
